Superman..You have no cape!

I remember telling a coworker (that knows about me having MS) some
news of another person, taking Tysabri, being afflicted with the Brain infection known as PML(progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy). After telling her that a
number of those people had died, but that the predicted rate of infection
was stated as 1 in 1,000, and that so far, the rate of infection was below
that amount.

Dealing with this unpredictable and sometimes ravaging disease, I’m looking
for something to help! MS exacerbations are so sporadic, and to a large
extent something that you cannot be prepared for. You have to just take your
chances. Kind of like driving 15 miles to work or 19 hours across country,
you don’t plan or expect for anything unfortunate to happen but if it does,
you hope and pray that your spare or the mechanic can fix you up and get you
back on the road as good as new, RIGHT?!

Still somewhat stunned, she asked the question “Yeah, but don’t you get
scared?”

I paused, then jokingly replied, “I can’t, I’m a dad too”. The all too tough provider & protector.
All those strong characteristics right. Not even a pocket pack of Kleenex for me
baby! I won’t need ‘em!

I remembered that I couldn’t ever recall seeing my dad or, any older men in
my family for that matter cry. Not once! I saw him fight them back at my
grandmother’s, his mother’s funeral, but that doesn’t count “against” him,
right?

It made me realize that my children had never seen me cry either. I can’t say that
they’d seen mom cry much either, but, she’d be allowed anyway. She’s the
mom.

Kid’s have said “My Dad’s tougher than your dad”, and “My dad’s not scared
of anything”, using that stereotypical imagery as a tool to support protect
them.

I have since gone on to tell my son and daughter that I have been and that I
still do get afraid.

After further talking, I told Her how we men (particularly through books & movies) have created this mythological male that we have to try so hard to be in "real life".

Then in "Real life", We really should/need to be vulnerable with the women (wives, girlfriend(s), and friends) that we try so hard to show strength for. When or/if the mask that we sometimes hold in place to protect ourselves, but often times to hide elements of ourselves that I've come to realize a wife would benefit from seeing us w/o out that cape anyway.

Guess what though, you don’t REALLY need that cape It’s kinda like a pair of
“lucky socks” anyway, isn’t it?!