A few of my co workers and I were talking at work and the conversation somehow moved to weddings & wedding pictures. Because I didn't have any pictures here at work, I went to one place that I knew they existed. I announced to them that they may need to bring a box of kleenex, then began the video tribute that my wife put together for me and posted on her blog back in December, 2007.
I'll be honest, there were quite a few ooos & ahhhs. Then one young lady that I believe was married for less than five years came over from the next row to comment about hearing my wife say that she honored me.
She mentioned that in her wedding vows, she told the minister that she would or didn't want to say honor & obey. I was trying to explain to her what I thought was meant by honoring, especially in a marriage relationship. She still couldn't budge. I tried to explain to them (her in particular) that I was not an iron fisted man, demanding to be honored.
I think what they also heard was the loving way in which my wife's voice spoke her words.
In response to something she said, the other man among the four of us mentioned that yes, it does help if a woman would stroke a man's ego some.
I tried to explain that yes, a man likes to feel admired, respected and special in in sense of "importance".
Of course, that varies in accordance with each man, but, give it a try, and see how he responds.
I don't know she says, referring to the guy she is currently dating, he seems to have enough ego for both of us.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Fear
I remember seeing the movie Murder in The First with Kevin Bacon. He was sentenced to prison in Alcatraz, then spent 1,000 days in solitary confinement. The max sentence was supposed to be 19 days. There was a scene that I don't remember verbatim, but Bacon's character, Henri Young exclamed that he didn't want to be afraid anymore!
FEAR says you have little skill
alvin says you haven’t seen my work
FEAr says I own you
alviN says I cannot doubt Me because of you
FEar say I’m sure you won’t make it
alvIN says, I’m sure I will try again
Fear says what makes you think you can
alVIN says, I have too many gifts to stop
fear says, I’m gonna mess with someone else, maybe I’ll just watch you
aLVIN says I am too perfectly and wonderfully made by God to fear you
ALVIN says I know you didn’t leave completely, but, I will remember that I did make you afraid of me!
FEAR says you have little skill
alvin says you haven’t seen my work
FEAr says I own you
alviN says I cannot doubt Me because of you
FEar say I’m sure you won’t make it
alvIN says, I’m sure I will try again
Fear says what makes you think you can
alVIN says, I have too many gifts to stop
fear says, I’m gonna mess with someone else, maybe I’ll just watch you
aLVIN says I am too perfectly and wonderfully made by God to fear you
ALVIN says I know you didn’t leave completely, but, I will remember that I did make you afraid of me!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Don't u see me?!?
It might be easy, to look & wonder, what will it take,What could it be,
First, you see, u gotta wonder, just who is this cat he calls me.
Me is gonna be, willing and able to just keep "being".
As much as it looks, even in wonderment to me, like he does a lot for every or somebody else, when he does it, he's really doing it because of...me.
Not FOR, or in spite of, but BECAUSE of me. I thought about and almost tried to not be me... Then realized that first, I would have to not BE, only then, could I be a different ME!
First, you see, u gotta wonder, just who is this cat he calls me.
Me is gonna be, willing and able to just keep "being".
As much as it looks, even in wonderment to me, like he does a lot for every or somebody else, when he does it, he's really doing it because of...me.
Not FOR, or in spite of, but BECAUSE of me. I thought about and almost tried to not be me... Then realized that first, I would have to not BE, only then, could I be a different ME!
Afraid of...
Don’t be afraid to ask questions that are within your skin,
Tumbling and rumbling, thoughts, words, they keep coming back again?
You USED to ask questions, when your mind was without limits
What color is that, why do people put that stuff in it
Where do clouds come from, why did Santa Claus skip our house this year?
Why is grandma still mad, is uncle Ricky really sad?
Where is my daddy, is he gone because I was bad?
Mommy, do you like my picture? Is that car gonna be yours?
Would it make you happy, if I didn’t talk so much?
YES CHILD, they used to say, that was really tough!
But the questions came back, or, did they just never go away
Tomorrow was a new day, and there was still stuff I didn’t know
I’m glad they are here, Questions are not what we fear
those questions make me stronger
BUT, if I don’t ask, questions without answers make me scared even longer
We LEARN to stop asking some questions, because it’s the answers that we fear
It just MIGHT BE that, asking the questions makes them work to find the answer, that’s within their skin
Tumbling and rumbling, thoughts, words, they keep coming back again?
You USED to ask questions, when your mind was without limits
What color is that, why do people put that stuff in it
Where do clouds come from, why did Santa Claus skip our house this year?
Why is grandma still mad, is uncle Ricky really sad?
Where is my daddy, is he gone because I was bad?
Mommy, do you like my picture? Is that car gonna be yours?
Would it make you happy, if I didn’t talk so much?
YES CHILD, they used to say, that was really tough!
But the questions came back, or, did they just never go away
Tomorrow was a new day, and there was still stuff I didn’t know
I’m glad they are here, Questions are not what we fear
those questions make me stronger
BUT, if I don’t ask, questions without answers make me scared even longer
We LEARN to stop asking some questions, because it’s the answers that we fear
It just MIGHT BE that, asking the questions makes them work to find the answer, that’s within their skin
Superman..You have no cape!
I remember telling a coworker (that knows about me having MS) some
news of another person, taking Tysabri, being afflicted with the Brain infection known as PML(progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy). After telling her that a
number of those people had died, but that the predicted rate of infection
was stated as 1 in 1,000, and that so far, the rate of infection was below
that amount.
Dealing with this unpredictable and sometimes ravaging disease, I’m looking
for something to help! MS exacerbations are so sporadic, and to a large
extent something that you cannot be prepared for. You have to just take your
chances. Kind of like driving 15 miles to work or 19 hours across country,
you don’t plan or expect for anything unfortunate to happen but if it does,
you hope and pray that your spare or the mechanic can fix you up and get you
back on the road as good as new, RIGHT?!
Still somewhat stunned, she asked the question “Yeah, but don’t you get
scared?”
I paused, then jokingly replied, “I can’t, I’m a dad too”. The all too tough provider & protector.
All those strong characteristics right. Not even a pocket pack of Kleenex for me
baby! I won’t need ‘em!
I remembered that I couldn’t ever recall seeing my dad or, any older men in
my family for that matter cry. Not once! I saw him fight them back at my
grandmother’s, his mother’s funeral, but that doesn’t count “against” him,
right?
It made me realize that my children had never seen me cry either. I can’t say that
they’d seen mom cry much either, but, she’d be allowed anyway. She’s the
mom.
Kid’s have said “My Dad’s tougher than your dad”, and “My dad’s not scared
of anything”, using that stereotypical imagery as a tool to support protect
them.
I have since gone on to tell my son and daughter that I have been and that I
still do get afraid.
After further talking, I told Her how we men (particularly through books & movies) have created this mythological male that we have to try so hard to be in "real life".
Then in "Real life", We really should/need to be vulnerable with the women (wives, girlfriend(s), and friends) that we try so hard to show strength for. When or/if the mask that we sometimes hold in place to protect ourselves, but often times to hide elements of ourselves that I've come to realize a wife would benefit from seeing us w/o out that cape anyway.
Guess what though, you don’t REALLY need that cape It’s kinda like a pair of
“lucky socks” anyway, isn’t it?!
news of another person, taking Tysabri, being afflicted with the Brain infection known as PML(progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy). After telling her that a
number of those people had died, but that the predicted rate of infection
was stated as 1 in 1,000, and that so far, the rate of infection was below
that amount.
Dealing with this unpredictable and sometimes ravaging disease, I’m looking
for something to help! MS exacerbations are so sporadic, and to a large
extent something that you cannot be prepared for. You have to just take your
chances. Kind of like driving 15 miles to work or 19 hours across country,
you don’t plan or expect for anything unfortunate to happen but if it does,
you hope and pray that your spare or the mechanic can fix you up and get you
back on the road as good as new, RIGHT?!
Still somewhat stunned, she asked the question “Yeah, but don’t you get
scared?”
I paused, then jokingly replied, “I can’t, I’m a dad too”. The all too tough provider & protector.
All those strong characteristics right. Not even a pocket pack of Kleenex for me
baby! I won’t need ‘em!
I remembered that I couldn’t ever recall seeing my dad or, any older men in
my family for that matter cry. Not once! I saw him fight them back at my
grandmother’s, his mother’s funeral, but that doesn’t count “against” him,
right?
It made me realize that my children had never seen me cry either. I can’t say that
they’d seen mom cry much either, but, she’d be allowed anyway. She’s the
mom.
Kid’s have said “My Dad’s tougher than your dad”, and “My dad’s not scared
of anything”, using that stereotypical imagery as a tool to support protect
them.
I have since gone on to tell my son and daughter that I have been and that I
still do get afraid.
After further talking, I told Her how we men (particularly through books & movies) have created this mythological male that we have to try so hard to be in "real life".
Then in "Real life", We really should/need to be vulnerable with the women (wives, girlfriend(s), and friends) that we try so hard to show strength for. When or/if the mask that we sometimes hold in place to protect ourselves, but often times to hide elements of ourselves that I've come to realize a wife would benefit from seeing us w/o out that cape anyway.
Guess what though, you don’t REALLY need that cape It’s kinda like a pair of
“lucky socks” anyway, isn’t it?!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I'm not leaving!!
I saw you checking. Were you thinking I had given up?
Yeah, I’m still in the room
I still got this seat
They’re lining up outside though
At the door, I see faces pressed against the windows
Looking at me, cause I’m STILL IN THE SEAT!
“He doesn’t deserve to be there”, “he can’t handle it”, “He goes way too slow”!
I think, no, I’m sure that’s what some folks have been saying.
“I can do it BETTER than him”!
No, you can’t, cause I’m STILL IN THE SEAT!
I might make a mistake a time or two, but I’m still working on it, so I’LL NEVER FAIL
I’m still growing, still learning, still trying harder than most, so I’LL NEVER FAIL
You might want to look around, don’t get too anxious thinking about knocking me outta my place.
Well, Let me make one thing clear, so u can stop getting on my nerves, especially if you are a hater…
THIS SEAT IS RESERVED!!
Yeah, I’m still in the room
I still got this seat
They’re lining up outside though
At the door, I see faces pressed against the windows
Looking at me, cause I’m STILL IN THE SEAT!
“He doesn’t deserve to be there”, “he can’t handle it”, “He goes way too slow”!
I think, no, I’m sure that’s what some folks have been saying.
“I can do it BETTER than him”!
No, you can’t, cause I’m STILL IN THE SEAT!
I might make a mistake a time or two, but I’m still working on it, so I’LL NEVER FAIL
I’m still growing, still learning, still trying harder than most, so I’LL NEVER FAIL
You might want to look around, don’t get too anxious thinking about knocking me outta my place.
Well, Let me make one thing clear, so u can stop getting on my nerves, especially if you are a hater…
THIS SEAT IS RESERVED!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Haikus
A couple of weeks ago I took a half day off to attend visitor's day for the Cental Texas Writing Project that Laura Lee Co-Directs. After listening to a couple of nice demos, we were given the option to complete a choice of four workstations.
Well, my heart nearly froze when among the choices I saw that Japanese word "Haiku", with a set of simple instructions
First line: five syllables
Second line: seven syllables
Third line: five syllables
I'll never forget that day in elementary school (no later than second grade)when I just could not for the life of me figure out how to get that thing written?! I'll admit, I can't say for sure that I wasn't playing around instead of getting the work done. I MAY have messed around with the time given, thus leading to me being held after school to finish a damned poem. Needless to say, mama was not happy whren she had to walk in to pick me up.
I really don't remember trying to write a haiku since that day. Maybe I did, but have since blocked the memory out.
I thought about it, then, I decided I would write MY haiku!
This is a Haiku that speaks to so many people in my life:
IF I WRITE:
IF I write "A WAY"
"A WAY" so YOU can read ME
Will YOU write ME back?
That was one of the best vaction days I've takern.
It meant even more the other day when Laura Lee told me that Charles asked her for a journal so he could write some of his thoughts. It reminded me that he had mentioned a similar idea to me before. He said he thought about writing things down, so he'd be sure he said them correctly.
It also made me think of myself, for years out here wanting to be sure to say everything correctly. "JUST SAY IT MAN! is what I told him.
Here's my second Haiku:
In a love full home
Be a great big fan of You
That home has more love
Now, HAIKU You!
Well, my heart nearly froze when among the choices I saw that Japanese word "Haiku", with a set of simple instructions
First line: five syllables
Second line: seven syllables
Third line: five syllables
I'll never forget that day in elementary school (no later than second grade)when I just could not for the life of me figure out how to get that thing written?! I'll admit, I can't say for sure that I wasn't playing around instead of getting the work done. I MAY have messed around with the time given, thus leading to me being held after school to finish a damned poem. Needless to say, mama was not happy whren she had to walk in to pick me up.
I really don't remember trying to write a haiku since that day. Maybe I did, but have since blocked the memory out.
I thought about it, then, I decided I would write MY haiku!
This is a Haiku that speaks to so many people in my life:
IF I WRITE:
IF I write "A WAY"
"A WAY" so YOU can read ME
Will YOU write ME back?
That was one of the best vaction days I've takern.
It meant even more the other day when Laura Lee told me that Charles asked her for a journal so he could write some of his thoughts. It reminded me that he had mentioned a similar idea to me before. He said he thought about writing things down, so he'd be sure he said them correctly.
It also made me think of myself, for years out here wanting to be sure to say everything correctly. "JUST SAY IT MAN! is what I told him.
Here's my second Haiku:
In a love full home
Be a great big fan of You
That home has more love
Now, HAIKU You!
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